I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
