Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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