How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize