Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
