she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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