We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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