how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
