he laminated a picture of his dick.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
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He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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