Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
