I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
