We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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