break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
