I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
So. Much. Porn.
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