Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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