She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
