so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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