he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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