I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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