what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
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