Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
