Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize