he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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