I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
