Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize