You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize