Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am available for nakedness
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
