Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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