I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
