So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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