His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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