I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize