I bet he comes in French.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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