Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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