as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize