can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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