i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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