im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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