She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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