My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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