I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
