Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Someone came in the potted fern
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
