So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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