youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
