She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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