a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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