I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
