We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
