last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
