I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now