Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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(609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku

Replies (17) Good night (690) Bad night (6667)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

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(203): Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard http://tfl.nu/p7e3

Replies (16) Good night (5121) Bad night (548)
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(904): View more from Florida

Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada

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(904): Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada http://tfl.nu/l5wm

Replies (414) Good night (7205) Bad night (2028)
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(802): View more from Vermont

i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer

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(802): i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer http://tfl.nu/uupu

Replies (16) Good night (5507) Bad night (981)
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(951): View more from California

It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.

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(951): It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle. http://tfl.nu/s5be

Replies (15) Good night (976) Bad night (3678)
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(845): View more from New York

dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"

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(845): dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED" http://tfl.nu/7ras

Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (2588)
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(916): View more from California

whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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(916): whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door http://tfl.nu/x1rj

Replies (8) Good night (1115) Bad night (2059)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.

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(303): Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear. http://tfl.nu/k7jc

Replies (18) Good night (3643) Bad night (585)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.

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(610): I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/8cn6

Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (796)
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(619): View more from California

It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.

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(619): It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him. http://tfl.nu/bq38

Replies (4) Good night (357) Bad night (996)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.

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(252): Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in. http://tfl.nu/6mb0

Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (578)
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(530): View more from California

All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.

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(530): All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls. http://tfl.nu/uabx

Replies (12) Good night (766) Bad night (1078)
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(408): View more from California

I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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(408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h

Replies (1) Good night (1081) Bad night (297)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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(306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5

Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (200)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

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(419): Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women. http://tfl.nu/y0qe

Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (724)

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