If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
