Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.