Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma