Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
