FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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