3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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