Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize