I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
