imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
