Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
