JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
