This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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