he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
