honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
